Well, would you look at that...I still have a blog.
And I have an answer to "what happens when I date" too.
Valentine's Day is approaching and I thought I would pick this thing back up again, because it seems timely and appropriate. I then realized I'm a bad, inconsistent blogger. I haven't written since August and that seems totally unfair to all of you, because I know you're so desperate to read & know about my life. Let's start with the biggest thing first, shall we?
I'm engaged.
Shocked, are we? I know. So was I. It's true. Someone (Mr. Wild Card, to be exact) asked me to put on a weighty and absurdly expensive white dress and legally bind myself to him. He's gotta be crazy.
We'll be getting married this fall and I'm in the process of planning now. Note: by "planning", I mean getting completely overwhelmed by the sheer number of decisions I have to make and instead of doing that, watching endless episodes of Army Wives from the comfort of my bed. It's bizarre to think that this time next year when I'm apologizing for not writing more, I'll be a wife to a man who gladly deals with me crying because Mission Burrito forgot to put shrimp in my bowl. Wow. Bananas.
And yet, I'm still not really sure how I got here. I have a ring on my hitchin' finger and a guy who loves me consistently and fully. I feel like the girl who was unsure of whether or not she was going on a date is a stranger. I'm more self-assured and confident. I'm less weary and wandering. I've grown. I'm more of me than I have been in a very, very long time. How did I change into this person from the one I was? I can say, without hesitation, that love grew me. Love mended me. Love righted me.
While none of my change is simply because Mr. Wild Card gave me a ridiculously gorgeous piece of jewelry, the love from someone who loves me absolutely and unconditionally has caused my heart to overflow with happiness and contentment. Having someone love me as I love them is the most perfect and honest thing that this life has given me so far. The way Mr. Wild Card cares for me is unselfish and unabashed. My fear of abandonment fades with each passing day.
See friends, this kind of love is the kind that God wants for us. This kind and patient love. This honest and true love. This is the love that we are to yearn for - not the kind of love that fades away with time or distance. Not the kind of love that simply makes us feel good. Not the kind of disposable or manufactured love that the world shows us.
The romantic love Christ has intended for us, the kind bound in honor and founded in sacrifice, is the kind of love that can be transformative and boundless. Just like His love for us. How did it take me so long to see that?
I've found my forever person. That, my friends, is what happens when I date.
~j
