No Date For You!

There are worse things I can be than 30 and unmarried, right?  Let's name some: a serial killer, a terrorist, a thief, a liar, a dead person.  Those are way worse, but I guess maybe I'm underestimating the weight of my new age and my relationship status (or lack thereof).

I am turning into a pariah.

Okay, okay, it's not all that harsh, but I'm the last of a dying breed.  In certain circles, I'm an anomaly.  (I have to admit, most of my closest friends are married and many of them have children.  And good for them!  I'm a little envious!)  The other day, someone older told me that I need to date everyone and anyone, because time is of the essence.

What in the what?  Are you for serious?

Just because I want to find a partner doesn't mean I shouldn't have standards.  It certainly doesn't mean I should go out on date with someone I don't want to - if I did that my dance card would be full of old, hairy men and young guys with no job and a really bad McDonald's habit.  There must be dealbreakers.  That comment drove me to compile a list of my 'dealbreakers.'

I will probably not date you if:

• You aren't close with your family, for no good reason.
• You are too close with your family.
• You are void of personality.
• See also: a sense of humor
• You smell like day old bread, rotting garbage, and/or like you haven't showered since 9th grade.
• You bear any resemblance to the lead singer of Nickleback, my father or any of the members of One Direction.
• You listen to and like Nickleback and/or Creed and/or any other type of grandpa rock.
• You don't get my references to not-so-obscure 80's movie - this probably means you are too young to date me.
• You wear white tennis shoes.
• See also: skinny jeans.
• See also: cowboy hats, if you are not a cowboy.
• See also: eyeliner, if you are not a rock star.
• See also: tapered jeans.
• See also: jeans with overly embroidered pockets.
• See also: women's clothing.
• You use more skin products than I.  (Nearly impossible, so I'm giving a wide berth here.)
• You are rude, disrespectful or otherwise in need of an etiquette class.
• You have dated anyone I know for longer than 3 months.
• You have multiple children by a variety of women.
• You do not laugh at my jokes.  I am funny.  You should laugh.
• You cyberstalk me.
• You quote me...to me.

That isn't a lot NOT to ask for, is it?  I don't think so either.  I'm glad you agree.

~j

In The Land of Blood and Thirty

Today is my 30th birthday. 

Yay?

I'm excited because birthdays can be fun and I have the distinct feeling that is one is going to be extra great.  On the other hand, I'm getting a little bit contemplative.  I had this idea of what my life might look like at 30 when I was younger and nothing is really like I thought it would be, but that's not necessarily bad.  There is a reason why my life is like it is and am I ever grateful for that.

I woke up this morning feeling no different, but the fact is guys, I'm really getting old.  It's true.  I'm not young anymore.  I mean, I still feel young-ish, but I'm an actual responsible adult and choices I make now are typically thought out and premeditated.  When I was younger I didn't give a care!  Now, I think about the consequences and rewards.  When did I become this person?  I guess somewhere between 20 and 30 I actually learned something that resembles maturity. 

I drew up a list of things that are different now that I'm 30 from when I was 20:

• I'm not able to stay up late and wake up early like I did in college.  (Well, the afternoon naps really helped with that ability, I must say!)  I can't function the next day.  I'm miserable until I get to go to sleep, which is usually at about 9:00 p.m..
• Speaking of going to bed early, I do that now.  A lot.
• And I nap, not out of laziness or staying up late, but out of necessity.
• I don't care what people think about me.  I like me.  I am pretty awesome.  If you don't feel the same, that's really your problem to deal with, not mine.  (And I mean that in the most gracious of ways.)
• I'm unapologetic about my beliefs.  God is amazing and does incredible things in my life everyday; I'm never going to be quiet about that.
• I'm way more willing to try new things.  
• I'm much cuter now.
• No, really.  Much cuter.
• I'm lumped into a older age bracket.
• Creepy old men don't leer at me as often.
• I have winkles, legitimately use eye cream and worry about fine lines.
• I get heartburn. From: Just. About. Everything.
• I worry about my cholesterol.
• When I like an article of clothing, I actually think "is this age-appropriate?"
• My dreams are more realistic.  Instead of daydreams about becoming a great singer/songwriter or meeting/marrying Luke Perry, my visions are of paying off my school loans and buying a hybrid car.

I can't say that any of those changes are bad.  They are just my way of developing into a slightly better version of who I was before.  Well, hopefully I'm better.  I'm more confident and, as a result, happier.  I don't like the fact I have to check a new age range box, but it happens to everyone.  All children grow up. 

In fact, being the youngest in my new group feels pretty good - it also means I may be able to actually win something in a race now!  (Honesty moment: Let me tell you something, racing against nubile 21 year olds is not good for your self-esteem.)

I'm looking forward to the challenges and celebrations that this year brings and being able to share that with all of you.

~J   

Did I Do That?

Remember those cards that my friend gifted to me?  Well, I bucked up and actually gave one out. 

(I think I just heard an audible gasp...) 

I was leaving a baseball game (natch, 'cause what else do I do these days?) and decided just to be bold and give a card to this guy that had been sitting near me at the game.  I didn't know him, but he laughed at my lame jokes and that was good enough for me.  After joking with a friend about how he wasn't going to call because he thought I was probably a major weirdo, I got a text from the guy. 

WHAT?!?!?!  HE ACTUALLY TEXTED??!!? These things might really work! 

I was proud of myself, for many reasons.  I actually took some initiative and put myself out there and nothing bad happened.  And even if he didn't text or call, I didn't lose anything.  I learned a little bit and gained a little bit of confidence.  I felt the realization that I can totally do this whole dating thing come over me.

I can feel you asking, "What about the guy? What happened?"  Well, he ended up being from Montana or Idaho or another one of those states with a population of 4, so it wasn't going anywhere.  He also was extremely interested in ONE thing and, well, that certainly wasn't on the table. 

Sidenote: I did pause to think about how giving out a card looked, after this instance...was it too forward?  Do I look like I'm ready "for a good time"?  Cause I really don't want a "good time," I mean, THAT kind of good time.  A good time, like, eating a yummy meal and playing mini-golf or shopping, is okay and actually a good time.

After this mild success, I felt up to the challenge of handing out a card or two.  I happened to go on a little trip with some of my besties last weekend and those cards were burning a hole in my pocket.  We went out for dinner for a birthday celebration and there was a group of guys behind our table.  I noticed a cute little nerd in group and thought, "I'm going to give that dork a card!" And I did. I cut a piece of birthday cake, put the card on the plate and took it over to him.  He sent me a text or two, but I wasn't sweating it.  I was too focused on the fact that I am, in fact, amazingly awesome.  I've started to believe in myself so much that approaching someone isn't scary, it's just fun.

Watch out kids, Jeana's back in town and she has some cards to give away.

~j

Hey, Young Girls

My sister turns 25 today.  While we have our similarities, we're pretty opposite in a lot of ways - we look different, we respond to problems differently and we like to do different things.  Those opposing mentalities used to be an issue when we were younger (she tried to kill me by banging my head on our porcelain bathtub when she was 5, but that's another story altogether), but now I've come to admire some of her strengths that I simply don't have.

She is smart (naturally, she is related to me after all), hard-working, funny (not as funny as me though), really pretty (like, seriously pretty...it's a little sickening), determined and a good mom.  Most of all, she is independent and knows what she wants, which is what inspired me to write this blog today.

It seems that young women I speak with from 18-25 don't know what they want and simply date people for the sake of dating.  They put 1,000 pounds of make-up on while wearing 3 inches of clothing and go out to pick up a guy for the night.  Some of these girls are so concerned with getting a boyfriend that they do practically anything to make that happen.  It's sad and a little desperate.  

My sister is different.  She doesn't play games.  She is unconcerned with relationship drama.  She refuses to take nonsense from guys.  She's a straight shooter and isn't afraid to tell you how she really feels.  She's strong.  She doesn't need a guy around for her to feel good about herself.  She even speaks up for me and I'm the older one.  I respect all these things more than I think I've ever said.

I'm usually timid.  I deal with a lot of stuff from guys that my sister wouldn't put up with - she ain't got time for that!  I am always afraid of offending someone, so I tend not to say what I'm really feeling.  I'm always thinking that I'm the one who's not good enough.  I think that there is a lot for me (and all those young girls) to learn from how she acts and reacts in dating.

Thank you, sister, for teaching me all this stuff.  You're the best.

~J

I Think I Want To Know Ya

I'm about to reveal something personal to you, something that has become a habit for me.  It's a little weird and I've found I am now little addicted to doing it. 

I look at the 'Missed Connections' on Craigslist almost daily.

(For those of you who don't know what that is, here's a little description: there is a section of Craigslist where people can post messages to look for someone they saw in passing, didn't get to really speak with, but want to get to know.) 

I stumbled upon it one day a few years ago when I was trying to sell some video games and fell in love with the whole notion of it.  Not only is it a cute idea, but it's romantic at its very heart.  People post with the hope that the zing they felt for a person wasn't just one sided.  They write a message and put it out into the universe, optimistic that somehow the person they saw in line at Kroger or passed by on the jogging trail is looking for them too.  It doesn't get much more starry-eyed than that.

I'm sure everyone has a story of someone they saw once or twice and thought, "I wish I had talked to that person."  I would be lying if I said I hadn't regretted not talking to a couple of guys I've seen over the years.  This little corner of Craigslist allows the possibility for people to take their own destiny in their hands!  It's just so terribly sweet.

Now, I'm not saying that every post is romantic.  There are some that are mostly about someone seeing someone 'hot' and even though they are married, they wish they could just SEE them again.  And, of course, there are the creepy ones.  (It's Craigslist, so naturally there would be some strange listings...it would be weird if there weren't a few.)  Even so, some of the posts are just so full of hope that it makes my little heart sing. 

The whole thing is a little bit of optimism for a pessimistic world and that's all I need.

~J

With A Little Help From My Friends

I guess I didn't realize how many of my friends were actually reading this thing, until I started getting comments about some of the things I've written.  I'm grateful (and incredibly surprised)  that anyone wants to spend their time reading my slightly humorous (maybe) and fully embarrassing (totally) musings.  I know that you're sticking around for bad date stories - which I'm sure will come soon enough - or to find out what hijinx I've gotten myself into, but I figured out something that can make this reader/writer relationship mutually beneficial. 

After mulling over the fact that my friends read this blog, I had an epiphany.  Why am I not using my most valuable resource to get dates?  It's right in front of my face.  My friends, gentle reader, are an untapped source of potential dates.  Somebody I know has thought to themselves, "This doctor/lawyer/professor friend of mine is amazing!  He would be perfect for Jeana."  (And if you haven't said that to yourself, then you should start thinking that way.)  I think that I've stumbled onto something that could be great.

I'm ready to go on a date and, possibly, write about it.  That's where my friends come in!  Any one of them might know someone who wants to date a smart, tall, educationally overachieving, loud laughing, curly haired, over-sharing, friendly half-Mexican.  (That's me, by the way.) 

How have I not thought of this before?  Or maybe I have and was just too shy to put it out there.  Either way, it seems like a good idea.  I go on a date and then write a little bit about it, without regard to whether it was the most amazing, life-changing date or the worst, soul-sucking encounter ever.  I've got to have a friend who'll take the bait, er, who'll be sweet and set me up with someone.

So, who's first?

~J

To Text or Not to Text, That Is The Question

Over the Labor Day weekend, I hung out with some friends I don't get to see enough.  I was excited to spend some time with them because they're a blast and they have fun friends, which is always good.  When we got to the place we were going, I noticed there was a guy there I had met before, who I thought was cute.  The last time I saw him, he was funny and seemed sweet - he even asked me to dance (brave guy).  For some reason, I didn't think he would remember me, but he did.  Huh.

As the night progressed, I talked to him a little bit and joked around a little bit.  My first assessment wasn't wrong, he was a nice guy.  Being honest, as I usually am with you dear reader, I even flirted a little!  (Well, it was flirting for me anyway.)  Things were good.

Then, there was an awkward moment.  His (well-meaning?) friend came over and basically suggested he get my number.  Cut to me, looking mortified.  I was blushing and completely nerdy.  I said that he didn't have to do that, but he said he wanted to.  (UH, no you don't, you're just being kind!)  After remembering how to speak English and recalling my number for him, he said something like, "Well, now you have it, text me if you feel like it," rather nonchalantly.

Now, I was never expecting him to ask for my number and didn't feel like he was too interested anyway, so I didn't send a text or call.  He didn't send me anything either.  I figured he was being nice, which he probably was, but after talking to some other people who were there, I think I might have misread the whole thing.

Apparently, he chose to sit next to me, even when his friends went off to play pool.  I guess he was a little flirty too.  And maybe his friend was playing matchmaker because he's a little shy?  Was I just not tuning into what was happening or was I right about the whole thing all along?

Whatever the case is, enough time has passed that sending a text now would be weird.  I've also learned in the past few days that I am a yellow-bellied, lily-livered coward.  I get so concerned about the outcome, I don't try.  I really need to get over that - how is anything going to change if I don't try?

Let's all hope that next time I choose to be a little bit bolder.  And by a little bit, I mean just enough to actually send "Hi" in text.  Baby steps guys, baby steps.

~J

The Chicken Dance

The Cubs are in town, which means I headed out to the ballpark to attempt to get Darwin Barney to notice me (and, also, to watch some mediocre baseball).  My friend Dennis was sweet enough to buy the tickets as an early birthday gift.  He also told me that he had a little something else for me.  I thought going to the game was more than enough, but he insisted that I was going to LOVE it.  Far be it from me to refuse a gift!

I got to the game and he handed me my present.  It could go down as the best present ever.

It was about 100 of these:

Excuse the poor picture quality, will you?


The card, obviously, has my name and phone number on it.  The idea is that if I think someone is interesting enough (read: cute or any adjectives similar to cute), I'll walk up and give it to them.  This is a great idea, in theory.  Occasionally, I see someone I think is worth a chance, but I don't have time (or the nerve) to talk to them.  This is a funny and clever way to put myself out there.  I liked it!

I liked it in theory, that is.

You see, friends, the fact is that I'm a chicken.  I wasn't able to give my card to ONE guy yesterday.  There was a guy sitting in the row in front of us, who laughed at everything I was saying.  (*Tangent* Typically, I would think his eavesdropping to be creepy, but we ALL know how loud I can be in public.  He probably couldn't help but overhear me and my humorous musings.)  Clearly, he was charmed by me - let's be honest, who isn't? (Don't answer that.) - but I couldn't bring myself to give him one of the cards.

I just didn't have it in me to pass him the card.  I was so nervous, my hand was shaking.  My number is on this thing!  What if he didn't text or call?  I would be disappointed.  If I can't give away a single card, what am I going to do with 100 of them?!?

Reflecting on this later, I figure that if I were to give out ALL the cards, surely there would be at least a single guy who would be interested.  That's my shot: 1 in 100.  Those are worse stats than either the Astros or the Cubs have this season (or any season), and that is saying quite a bit.  But, even then, all I need in my life is one dude, right?  And if they like my gall and see the humor in the card, then they kind of get me already. 

Is handing out the cards worth the risk?  Possibly.  Kim Kardashian or Winston Churchill (or someone equally important) said, "Without risk, there is no reward." 

Maybe the reward is learning how to take a harmless chance. 
Maybe it'll make me more adventurous.
Or maybe someone will call me. 

Maybe?

~J

Isn't It Romantic?

I was speaking to a friend of mine last week who reads the blog and she commented on how much she appreciated my post on being hopeful in the face of a break-up. She said that I was a romantic.  That's not me at all, I thought, but it made sense.  Her observation might just be true.

When I end something with someone, I want to clear out everything that reminds me of them.  I want all traces gone.  (Honestly, do I need to see a picture of us at a concert that he didn't even want to go to every time I log in to Facebook?  No.  I don't even need to see old text messages - so, let's get rid of those too.  In fact, let's just delete your number too, in case I'm having a bad day next month and can't resist the urge to call you.)  I know not everyone feels this way, but it helps me refocus, heal and move on.  I've always thought this approach was harsh, but totally necessary.

Because of this, I always assumed I was a little jaded and kind of cold.  However, in the recent months I figured out I'm the opposite of all that.

I love love.  I love dopey TV/movie moments when the characters you knew were going to get together finally get together.  I love when people find each other.  I sigh (usually audibly) when I see two people who genuinely love each other.  I get giddy watching love happen.  I get dreamy when I see sweet old couples.  I love when love wins.  I believe in love completely.  Maybe my old heart is actually full of romance instead of the optimistic label I always give it.

I've never been accused of being romantic or idealistic, but maybe that's what I've been all the time.  I know that where there is a heart willing to care, love can happen.  In spite of wanting to clear out old memories, I fully trust that there are new memories to be made.  Maybe that makes me romantic after all...

~J

Taylor Swift Teaches Us How NOT To Date

T. Swift pretty much has it made.  She's in the middle of a booming music career, she's young, she's pretty, she's got a good work ethic and she seems really nice.  She's kinda awesome. 

But, Taylor Swift stinks at dating.

Let's really think about it: she's 22 and has had more relationships in the past 4 years than I have had my whole life.  She moves from one guy to another and seems to hitch her heart on everyone one of them, regardless of their level of interest to her.  It's a recipe for disaster.

When you attach yourself so easily and earnestly to every guy that finds you the tiniest bit interesting, you are setting yourself up for major and consistent heartbreak that is unnecessary.  I'm not suggesting that people hold each other at arm's length all the time, but there is something to be said for actually dating someone.  You go out together and get to know each other before making a commitment with your heart.

I won't act like I haven't been guilty of getting too involved too soon, because who hasn't?  I know, however, how to back up a little bit and take it slow.  That, I think, is a crucial thing Taylor hasn't figured out yet.  In fact, she does the complete opposite.  I find her a little smothering.  Exhibit A: SHE BOUGHT A HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET FROM HER NEW BOYFRIEND.  Awkward.  Who does that?  What if (read: when) you break up?  Are you just going to causally sell the house or will you still go and stay there?  Maybe you'll take your newest boyfriend there to show off to the old one. 

Taylor is famous for taking her heartaches and turning them into songs, like any modern songwriter.  While I can't fault her for that, I find the way that she does it terribly annoying.  There are thinly veiled clues to the men that she's dated in her songs.  And by thinly, I mean direct references to those guys.  There are songs that are named after a particular man.  A CD with a liner that provides hints as to who the song is about.  It's mean.  She's kind of a bully in that way.  Break up with Taylor Swift and you can bet that there will be song written about you in no time.

I'm going out on a limb and say that maybe TS is a little insecure.  She needs a guy in her life to tell her that she's pretty/smart/great/amazing.  I don't know her, of course, but it seems like this is the case.  And she's not alone in this desire - she's just doing it in front of an audience of millions.

I hope that watching how Taylor pretty much fails at dating gives young girls (and adult women, for that matter) pause to think.  You can have everything - fame, money, adoration - and still be unsure about yourself.  That lack of confidence isn't going to be resolved by having a relationship.  You don't have to give your heart away like it's a free pen at a bank.  Not every guy that pays attention to you is worthy of your time.  Your value doesn't come from having the title of girlfriend.  You're every bit as incredible as Taylor Swift is - just don't date like her.

Return of the Meathead

You guys remember Meathead, right?  Well, he never really left the scene - he just quieted down a little bit, but has recently given me some good blog fodder.

(In case you don't recall him or need a refresher, you can find about more about him here and here.)

Anyhow, I was on my way to a graduation party and saw something funny, so I posted about it on Facebook. (Natch.)  Meaty saw it, thought it was REALLY funny and sent me a message.  I kindly responded via text (because I'm not a jerk) and boy, did that unleash a problem.  He started texting everyday and is the kind of texter that should you not respond to something he sent in a matter of seconds you get a "???" follow up.

I have to admit, I played along for a little while and texted him occasionally. I thought it was harmless and that I was dealing with a normal human being. It seems, however, that I might really might have hurt his feelings.  Also, it appears that Meathead is a teensy bit cray.

For some reason, there was a day Meathead was convinced we were going to hang out.  (I want to make it VERY clear that I never suggested or even hinted at wanting to get together at a particular time or place.  He might have mentioned hanging out, to which I flippantly said "Oh, yeah, that might be fun to do sometime...," but I can't be sure.)  After a short texting conversation, he assumed that I wanted to hang out the next day instead.  (Once again, I never said that I was doing anything with him.)  After not hearing from me, he sent a "scathing" text that was supposed to put me in my place.  I was a jerk and only thought about myself!  I made plans two days in a row with him and never showed you guys!

We were having a relationship and I didn't even know it!

That's when I stopped texting, for my own sanity.  I went text AWOL.  For a few days after I got a "hey" or "hi" from him, that turned into a "hiya" every couple of days, which eventually turned into no texting.  My radio silence got the point across finally. Whew - dodged a bullet in the form of an awkward conversation.

Last week, I heard my phone ding.  "Yay! A text!," I thought.  "Oh, it's from Meathead." *le sigh* 

The text read: "You know Im gonna block u cause u arent responding right?"

*facepalm*

But there was some relief there - as least I could let him do all the dirty work.

This weekend I was on the Facebook, stalking a few college friends and I see I have a message. From Meathead.  (Wait!! I thought he was going to BLOCK ME!!!)  His message read pretty much the same as the text, but he added "Good luck to you" or some variation of that.

I haven't heard from Meathead since then, but I HAVE learned my lesson.  Never be nice to save someone's feelings - sometimes the harsh truth, as hard as it is to hear/say, is necessary.  Being too kind can get you a boyfriend you didn't even want.

~j

We Are Never, Ever, Ever, Ever Getting Together

I have a good friend - we'll call her Single Sally - who is a power dater.  She's the self-proclaimed "Queen of the First Date." She's open to going on dates with different guys to see if there is a spark, which I support.  There isn't anything wrong with going to dinner with someone you find vaguely interesting, is there?  As long as you don't give your heart away to every guy you meet, I don't see a problem with her mentality.  I appreciate girls like her who consistently put themselves out there, simply because it takes a lot of nerve. 

Because Sally is actively dating, she has quite a few stories.  Here is one that happened recently:

Sally happened by some fancy seats at a baseball game and I jumped at the chance to go, mostly because I hadn't ever been to the swanky section of the ballpark.  Also going was a guy Sally met online.  They hadn't met face-to-face yet, but he seemed interested in going to the game.  We would all meet and ride together because she had a parking pass. 

As I was getting ready, Sally was meeting her date (heretofore known as Loser Luke or LL) and started to give me a text play by play.  LL apparently had a friend sleeping off a hangover on his couch and left Sally to talk to him while he stepped into another room.  Loser Luke wasn't saying much to Sally at all.  I didn't see much hope for this guy, but I was willing to go along with it - for the sake of my friend and my one true love, baseball. 

I left the conversation to fix my always unruly hair and came back to find I had missed two calls from Sally.  There was also a text that read, "Call me as soon as you can."  I paused my hairspray ritual to call her back, only to find out that Loser Luke decided that he couldn't/didn't want to go to the game any longer.  Basically, she felt like she showed up, he saw her and then decided that he couldn't be bothered.  He gave her some lame excuse like he had a birthday party that night and needed time to get things together or something equally lame.  What. A. Jerk.  I mean, really?!?

Of course, Sally was upset.  I think anyone in that situation would have been.  We still went to the game though, because baseball is important.  During the game, Loser Luke texted to ask how the game was.  Excuse me?  No sir.  You don't get to bail on my friend and then try to be nice.  That's not how this works.  What nerve this kid had.

This weekend I had lunch with Sally and apparently LL has been texting her ever since then.  He sent her a message a few weeks ago asking what she was up to and after she responded she was making dinner, he said it was his birthday and she should make him something good.  Just this past Saturday, he suggested that she come over to visit.  My jaw was on the table!    

I couldn't believe it.  What the heck is wrong with this guy?  Someone ate lead paint chips when he was a kid.  You basically take a look at a girl, decide that she's not worth your time and then, later, try to get her to hang out with you.  This makes no sense.  Loser Luke is diluted.  Maybe there is some underlying story here I don't know.  It may have been that he didn't want to have their first date with me as a tag-along or he thought she was too pretty for him, but it's not like he said that.  LL has never apologized or even acknowledged what he did that day,  he's never said anything.

Usually, this is the point where I would go off about how there isn't anyone good left, but I'm not today. I won't start lamenting about the lack of quality people in the dating pool, because I know there are great single people available. (I'm really talking about myself here.) It maybe harder to find them, but they exist. (Again, that's about me.) 

In the end, we all have a Loser Luke story.  Someone who just stopped calling.  Someone who said they weren't ready for a relationship and then gets engaged a month or two later.  Someone who starts dating your best friend.  Someone you overhear talking poorly about you.  Dating is hard, but when you meet a great person, all the Loser Luke encounters have been worth it.

Also, I really hope that Sally never really dates Loser Luke or I'm going to be in trouble.

Happy Wednesday,
J

Alone Again, Naturally

Well, I've been meaning to update this blog for a while and now is the perfect time to do it, because Mr. Wonderful and I are no longer dating.

Yes, I'm single again friends.  And, surprisingly, I'm okay with that.  Seriously.

Mr. Wonderful is still wonderful, nothing changed there, but he wanted to move on.  Am I sad about that?  Sure - if it were up to me I would still date him, but that's not how it is.  This is real life and things don't always work out the way you thought they might.  I'm not going to act like I didn't make some mistakes, because I did, but at least I have the opportunity to learn from them.  It was a great summer and I met someone amazing.  I can't complain about that.

The great thing is that Mr. Wonderful reminded me that there are people out there who are crazy compatible with me.  People that get my personality, that are just as interested in music, movies and pop culture as I am, that appreciate my wacky sense of humor.  That fact is incredibly heartening. I guess I knew that all along, but I started and ended this minor relationship with him so unsure of myself and it wasn't until he officially ended things that I was able to see that.

Now, not everything about the situation was perfect, so I'm not trying to set this whole summer romance as "the one that got away," but it was a good experience.  I am usually methodical and cautious, but, this time, I took a chance.  I'm grateful for the time Mr. Wonderful and I had together.  The end result isn't ideal, but God has given me a spirit of hope and I can't really ask for much more than that. 

The other good news?  The blog is back in full force.  You're welcome in advance.

~j