(Ed Note: This is a verbatim conversation between me and my stalker, McStalkerson. [He is not an actual stalker, obvs, he is simply an overzealous suitor. If he was a stalker, I would be hiding in my house with all the lights off texting one of you to come help me.] I've left all misspellings and grammar errors alone, so you can sincerely take the journey to Crazytown with me. )
[Scene opens on our heroine, folding her sheets.]
McStalkerson: Hey girl. what you doin'?
Me: Hiya. Nothing much. Laundry.
McStalkerson: Been thinkin' about ya
Me: Oh, yeah? That's interesting.
McStalkerson: Interesting??? lol been thinkin' 'bout how your doin'.
*A few minutes go by*
McStalkerson: so how are ya lol
Me: I'm pretty good, thanks.
*3 minutes elapse*
McStalkerson: that's it then? lol
Me: What's it?
McStalkerson: Your just pretty good?
Me: Yup. As good as it gets.
McStalkerson: ??? whats that? lol
McStalkerson: when are you free to talk
*10 minutes go by*
Me: Aren't we talking right now?
McStalkerson: lol such a smart alex. i mean, so we can talk talk
Me: Um, I think your version of talking and my version of talking are a liiiiittle different.
McStalkerson: lol i luv how funny you are.
McStalkerson: really think your great
McStalkerson: really want to see you soon
Me: ...
McStalkerson: srsly
McStalkerson: ???
McStalkerson: nothin' to say to that huh?
*1 day later*
McStalkerson: so really, when do i get to you see you??
[End scene]
Showing posts with label McStalkerson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label McStalkerson. Show all posts
Friday, May 11, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
You Make Me Promises, Promises
Way back in December a dude I know expressed an interest in dating me, even though I was still dating my boyfriend (henceforth known as E-Mail Man). At the time, I had absolutely no interest in this kid that extended beyond the way the fact I was in a relationship. This guy is a creeper to the nth degree - I've seen him in action and it is way disturbing. There is a fine line between being persistent and being a weirdo and homeboy took it waaaay over the line to Creepytown.
Anyway, McStalkerson started to ramp up his efforts in late January. Heavily. When I say heavily, I mean he would text me all day, call often and would just hang out places I frequent. He called and invited me to dinner at his parents house for his mother's birthday. He told me he bought me a Kindle for Valentine's Day. He told me that he wanted to take me on a trip to Costa Rica, because his family had a house there. Now, I made it clear that I didn't really want anything with him, but I thought the whole thing was funny. He was making all these promises to me about what we would do when I was free of E-Mail Man, about how he would "treat me right" and how much fun we would have together, blah, blah, blah.
About 2 weeks into the intense pursuing, it just stopped. Cold. No texts, no calls, no random run-ins at Mission Burrito, no nothing. I thought McStalkerson had finally caught on to the fact that I was a no-go. Then I got an email from him.
*Minor tangent* What is with men these days using e-mail to communicate their feelings? This seems to be a running theme with the guys in my life these days. Can't you just pick up the phone and call me? *End tangent*
The email stated that he had found somesucker woman who was nice, kind, pretty, smart (read: better than you, Jeana) and he was VERY happy with her. He just wanted me to know, so that I wouldn't have any bad feelings toward him because of what we had. (Um, what exactly did we have weirdo?) Also, he hoped maybe this would teach me a lesson about waiting too long to make a decision, because good men don't just wait around. Well, okay. Thanks for that lesson McStalkerson, duly noted.
About a week after E-Mail Man ended things, I happened to hear from McStalkerson. He wanted to know how I was doing and he just happened to have become single recently (*cut to me, looking unsurprised*). I told him I was single now too and he said he was really sorry to hear that, but that I would find someone! We could hang out without weirdness now! We could go to dinner! Get drinks! We could finally go to Costa Rica! Yay!
After hanging up, I haven't heard from McStalkerson, save the drunk texts I got from him on a random Tuesday night. He is the kind of guy who wants what he can't really have and when it's available, he doesn't want it! He feels about me the way I feel about Crystal Clear Pepsi.
And here I was packing my bags for Costa Rica...
Oh - and I've never seen that Kindle. I'm waiting, McStalkerson.
~j
Anyway, McStalkerson started to ramp up his efforts in late January. Heavily. When I say heavily, I mean he would text me all day, call often and would just hang out places I frequent. He called and invited me to dinner at his parents house for his mother's birthday. He told me he bought me a Kindle for Valentine's Day. He told me that he wanted to take me on a trip to Costa Rica, because his family had a house there. Now, I made it clear that I didn't really want anything with him, but I thought the whole thing was funny. He was making all these promises to me about what we would do when I was free of E-Mail Man, about how he would "treat me right" and how much fun we would have together, blah, blah, blah.
About 2 weeks into the intense pursuing, it just stopped. Cold. No texts, no calls, no random run-ins at Mission Burrito, no nothing. I thought McStalkerson had finally caught on to the fact that I was a no-go. Then I got an email from him.
*Minor tangent* What is with men these days using e-mail to communicate their feelings? This seems to be a running theme with the guys in my life these days. Can't you just pick up the phone and call me? *End tangent*
The email stated that he had found some
About a week after E-Mail Man ended things, I happened to hear from McStalkerson. He wanted to know how I was doing and he just happened to have become single recently (*cut to me, looking unsurprised*). I told him I was single now too and he said he was really sorry to hear that, but that I would find someone! We could hang out without weirdness now! We could go to dinner! Get drinks! We could finally go to Costa Rica! Yay!
After hanging up, I haven't heard from McStalkerson, save the drunk texts I got from him on a random Tuesday night. He is the kind of guy who wants what he can't really have and when it's available, he doesn't want it! He feels about me the way I feel about Crystal Clear Pepsi.
And here I was packing my bags for Costa Rica...
Oh - and I've never seen that Kindle. I'm waiting, McStalkerson.
~j
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