I've already written about my general hatred for The Bachelorette (you can find it here), but the ending of this season as GONE TOO FAR. I waited to write about it, mainly so I'd be less angry, but I'm still annoyed. I was so furious and confounded that it has carried over for weeks.
Why am I so irate when I don't even watch the show, you ask?
Because Desiree Hartsock is making a GIANT mistake. And young girls think that's ok.
Here's a quick recap for those not in the know:
Desiree was really into this one guy. He was basically the only person she was interested in of the three guys she had left. She was going to pick HIM. She knew it, we knew, Chris Harrison knew it, the camera crew knew it - I think the only two who didn't were the other dudes. It was obvious to anyone watching.
Then the unthinkable happened; after some soul-searching, the ONE left the show. He said he couldn't propose to her, that he had to leave. Desiree was devastated. *cue sad music* She didn't know if she go on with the show, because her true love, her prince charming had left her. Her heart was shattered into a million pieces.
Luckily, she got it together enough to continue and accept another proposal from one of the two leftovers. OH GOOD.
And this, my friends, is my HUGE issue. She was so certain that Guy A was THE ONE and when he left, he was easily replaced by The Backup. She didn't hesitate to say yes. WHAT THE WHAT?!?!?
Here is a girl who was yearning for this one particular guy, who thought that this guy was her soulmate, who almost couldn't go on AND YET she said yes to someone else when they proposed just 48 hours later. I understand what it's like to want to be married, to have a husband and start a family, but I can assuredly say I would not say yes to someone simply because they asked. Working under the pretense that you should say yes simply because you're asked is wrong, wrong, wrong. Saying yes because you're desperate to be married is equally wrong. I wanted to say, "It's okay Desiree, you can walk away from the show single, I promise!"
I almost get her mentality. Guy B (Backup/new Fiance) was nice, was really into her and he's not bad, so why not try it out and see if it works. I'll tell ya why - because you're ENGAGED. That's weighty, man. That's a promise, an agreement, to marry one day. That's pressure. Who cares if he asked? She could've said, "You know what? I'm not ready for this big commitment, but I didn't give you enough of my attention and I think you're pretty great. Let's try dating and see what happens." But, wait, I forgot, this is 'reality TV' and normal behavior is suspended.
In the end, I feel like she is going to hurt her new fiance. She was so intent on having a good ending, she made one happen, possibly at the expense of this sweet, poetry writing guy.
A person can not, in real life, just jump from one intense relationship to another and have everything work out. Yeah, yeah, I know you want to share exceptions, but I'm talking majority things here. Your heart and mind can't flip like that. On the reunion show, I felt as if the original THE ONE guy had asked her to marry him, she would have turned to the Backup and said, "Welp, it's been nice." I think Backup/Fiance dude felt the same (at least his face looked that way). It made me feel sad and uncomfortable for him and upset with her.
Take some time between relationships. Don't rush in. Don't make big commitments when you know your heart hasn't had time to catch up. Don't hurt people in order to make yourself feel good for the moment. THINK.
Oh, and don't go on a reality dating show.
~j
Showing posts with label what the what?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label what the what?. Show all posts
Friday, August 16, 2013
Monday, August 5, 2013
This Guy I Know: A Cautionary Tale
There is this guy I know, who this thing happened to and I thought I'd share it with you.
See, Bill* was chronically single (see also: me, prior to Mr. Wild Card). He is a regular guy with a decent job; there's nothing remarkably wrong with him - I mean, his personality isn't for everyone, but he's not a bad guy. I think it was difficult for Bill to find someone he connected with because of his mildly awkward & peculiar nature, but he kept trying.
To be honest, I envied him a little. Bill took rejection well. When a relationship didn't work out, he wouldn't let it affect him. Faced with the same situation, I would probably lay on the floor in a dark room listening to a Smiths/The Cure remix on repeat and question if love still existed.
He even asked me for advice after hearing that I was attempting online dating for the blog. I happily gave it to him and the next thing I knew, he was in a relationship with someone he seemed to get along with well. I started seeing Mr. Wild Card shortly after that and there we all were, a picture of happiness and contentment.
All I heard were good things about this girl. She made him visibly happy (and much more pleasant). After six months of dating, Bill thought he was in love (well, he probably WAS in love) and decided to propose in a really interesting way, something really specific to her tastes. He even had a ring made in a style she loved that was incredibly unique; no one else would have this ring. I thought it was so sweet how he planned out every detail, how he had tailored it to her tastes. She would HAVE to say yes.
And she did say yes...well, she said yes until she took it back.
I felt horrible when I heard the engagement had ended. He was so excited! He was telling everyone about what he wanted the wedding to be like and how utterly excited he was through with dating. How did this happen? Bill was shattered. WHAT KIND OF TERRIBLE PERSON DOES THIS?
She apparently felt like she was too young (SHE'S OLDER THAN ME) to be married and wasn't interested in planning a life with someone right now because she wants to be selfish.
Ick.
Then I remembered something Bill had mentioned in passing the week before the proposal: they hadn't discussed marriage at all. Not even a little. Isn't that something you customarily do before you go to all the effort of an extravagant proposal? He had to have been confident she would say yes, but wouldn't a reasonable person broach the subject beforehand? It was foreshadowing.
(And just so you know, Mr. Wild Card knows I'm heavily in favor and an advocate of marriage.)
I possibly nailed something on the head a bit earlier when I said, "She would HAVE to say yes." See, Bill asked her in front of a crowd of people during a weekend away together. Who would want to say no in a situation like that? She probably felt pressure to say yes. She did later sit down with him, privately, and explain how she couldn't go through with it, simply to save having to have a difficult conversation. It saved her from being unhappy in a marriage she didn't want and, in turn, making Bill unhappy.
This story highlights how important COMMUNICATION is in an relationship. If Bill had brought up the subject of marriage seriously, his girl might have given him some indication that she just wasn't ready to advance down that path. One small conversation may have helped Bill to cool his jets and just enjoy their time together, instead of making a big leap to the marriage question.
So, talk to each other. Ask questions, even the hard ones. Otherwise, you might end up like Bill: alone with a pricey piece of jewelry.
~j
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent and their opinion of me.
See, Bill* was chronically single (see also: me, prior to Mr. Wild Card). He is a regular guy with a decent job; there's nothing remarkably wrong with him - I mean, his personality isn't for everyone, but he's not a bad guy. I think it was difficult for Bill to find someone he connected with because of his mildly awkward & peculiar nature, but he kept trying.
To be honest, I envied him a little. Bill took rejection well. When a relationship didn't work out, he wouldn't let it affect him. Faced with the same situation, I would probably lay on the floor in a dark room listening to a Smiths/The Cure remix on repeat and question if love still existed.
He even asked me for advice after hearing that I was attempting online dating for the blog. I happily gave it to him and the next thing I knew, he was in a relationship with someone he seemed to get along with well. I started seeing Mr. Wild Card shortly after that and there we all were, a picture of happiness and contentment.
All I heard were good things about this girl. She made him visibly happy (and much more pleasant). After six months of dating, Bill thought he was in love (well, he probably WAS in love) and decided to propose in a really interesting way, something really specific to her tastes. He even had a ring made in a style she loved that was incredibly unique; no one else would have this ring. I thought it was so sweet how he planned out every detail, how he had tailored it to her tastes. She would HAVE to say yes.
And she did say yes...well, she said yes until she took it back.
I felt horrible when I heard the engagement had ended. He was so excited! He was telling everyone about what he wanted the wedding to be like and how utterly excited he was through with dating. How did this happen? Bill was shattered. WHAT KIND OF TERRIBLE PERSON DOES THIS?
She apparently felt like she was too young (SHE'S OLDER THAN ME) to be married and wasn't interested in planning a life with someone right now because she wants to be selfish.
Ick.
Then I remembered something Bill had mentioned in passing the week before the proposal: they hadn't discussed marriage at all. Not even a little. Isn't that something you customarily do before you go to all the effort of an extravagant proposal? He had to have been confident she would say yes, but wouldn't a reasonable person broach the subject beforehand? It was foreshadowing.
(And just so you know, Mr. Wild Card knows I'm heavily in favor and an advocate of marriage.)
I possibly nailed something on the head a bit earlier when I said, "She would HAVE to say yes." See, Bill asked her in front of a crowd of people during a weekend away together. Who would want to say no in a situation like that? She probably felt pressure to say yes. She did later sit down with him, privately, and explain how she couldn't go through with it, simply to save having to have a difficult conversation. It saved her from being unhappy in a marriage she didn't want and, in turn, making Bill unhappy.
This story highlights how important COMMUNICATION is in an relationship. If Bill had brought up the subject of marriage seriously, his girl might have given him some indication that she just wasn't ready to advance down that path. One small conversation may have helped Bill to cool his jets and just enjoy their time together, instead of making a big leap to the marriage question.
So, talk to each other. Ask questions, even the hard ones. Otherwise, you might end up like Bill: alone with a pricey piece of jewelry.
~j
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent and their opinion of me.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
What Is Wrong With You?
(Before I start today's entry can I admit something? I can? Good. When I write these things, I almost always envision myself as Doogie Howser sitting at his early 90's computer, writing his diary. Just had to get that out there.)
That admission may make what I'm about to say harder for me to defend, but so be it. The guys I'm running into these days are weird. And flaky. And kinda jerky. And don't realize how awful they sound. It's a nice guy drought, y'all. I must be going through the dating version of Death Valley.
Listen, I know I'm a little quirky, but I would consider myself a fairly regular person. I'm not talking about only drinking almond milk or loving Dr. Who a little too much weird here - I'm talking about strangely acting, hot and cold, utterly unbelievable men.
I know you're saying to yourself, 'Jeana, it can't be that bad! We know how you like to exaggerate for comedic effect.' While the latter part is true, the fact remains that I've been surrounded by guys who don't think. They started off as perfectly nice, interesting guys. They ended up being good stories I can relate to you, so I guess someone wins here!
The Friend of a Not-So-Close Friend
I had this group of friends I was really close with until some of them moved away. After the core people left, those of us left drifted apart a bit. I kept up with everyone on Facebook (read: I stalked them when I was bored), but I never really saw them. Interestingly enough, I got a random message from a friend of one of these "friends by association" one afternoon. I knew a little about him, mostly bad stuff to be honest, but I decided to give him a chance because I would want people to do the same for me. (The lesson here is I'm TOO nice and I should have listened to what people said.)
We started texting occasionally and I found myself a little interested. One night invited me to hang out and I agreed, even though I had just gone running and looked a hot mess. I plopped on some deodorant, put back on my work clothes and headed over. One of his friends happened to show up and relayed some interesting information to me: this guy had just broken up with his girlfriend THAT VERY DAY. So, the whole time he was texting me, he had been dating someone. Yup. My feelings weren't hurt or anything, but I did think it was indicative of his character and it was a major turn-off. Needless to say, I'm not interested in him anymore.
Mr. Chip on His Shoulder
I think the name gives it away, but this guy was so bitter about everything! The World Series, his work schedule, his old job, his past loves - anything he could have a problem with, he did. He told me he broke up with his girlfriend, WHO MOVED TO TOWN FOR HIM because he just didn't like her anymore. I wasn't sure about this guy at all, but, again, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
Until I heard something that would make me think, where have I gone wrong in this life? During a quick conversation one morning, he told me that he would maybe "add me to the list of people [he's] spoiling" that was "currently [a list] of two." I'm sorry? Were you trying to be cute here or did you actually just tell me that you have other women that you might be dating that you felt the need to inform me of? I don't care that you're dating around - I mean, I am too - but is it really necessary for you to tell me that information? No. And it kinda makes you look like a jerk.
The Kid
I hesitated even writing about this one, because I know he occasionally glances at this, but I'm not going to let his possible reading prevent me from telling you guys. Around my birthday I went on a few dates with this guy who's a little bit younger than me - hence the nickname "The Kid." He seemed super nice, was terribly cute and seemed pretty into everything I had going on (although, I can't blame him on that part!). The day after my birthday, he told me that he felt overwhelmed with our situation (mind you, we'd been on THREE dates) and that he couldn't see me anymore. Now, this bummed me out, but those were his feelings and I'm not going to try to talk someone into or out of anything. I just let it go and chalked it up to experience.
I moved on, but a few weeks ago he texted me and told me he had messed up. I didn't want to be a jerk, so I had lunch with him, skeptical, but I understood where he was coming from. He seemed to be more sure this time and the whole thing seemed romantic to me. We started talking and hanging out a little and I was enjoying myself! And what happened? He bailed on me again. He apologized and said he needed to get himself together. Okay. <-That was literally my response. I'm confused on this one. I'm not sure what happened, but I know it doesn't have to do with me. And if it does, then I really need to adjust my self-perception.
My Conclusions
1. I must need to learn something, otherwise why would I be meeting these people?
2. I am entirely too nice.
3. I need to have a better filtering system.
4. I should have my friends pick out my dates, because they have to be able to do better than me.
~j
That admission may make what I'm about to say harder for me to defend, but so be it. The guys I'm running into these days are weird. And flaky. And kinda jerky. And don't realize how awful they sound. It's a nice guy drought, y'all. I must be going through the dating version of Death Valley.
Listen, I know I'm a little quirky, but I would consider myself a fairly regular person. I'm not talking about only drinking almond milk or loving Dr. Who a little too much weird here - I'm talking about strangely acting, hot and cold, utterly unbelievable men.
I know you're saying to yourself, 'Jeana, it can't be that bad! We know how you like to exaggerate for comedic effect.' While the latter part is true, the fact remains that I've been surrounded by guys who don't think. They started off as perfectly nice, interesting guys. They ended up being good stories I can relate to you, so I guess someone wins here!
The Friend of a Not-So-Close Friend
I had this group of friends I was really close with until some of them moved away. After the core people left, those of us left drifted apart a bit. I kept up with everyone on Facebook (read: I stalked them when I was bored), but I never really saw them. Interestingly enough, I got a random message from a friend of one of these "friends by association" one afternoon. I knew a little about him, mostly bad stuff to be honest, but I decided to give him a chance because I would want people to do the same for me. (The lesson here is I'm TOO nice and I should have listened to what people said.)
We started texting occasionally and I found myself a little interested. One night invited me to hang out and I agreed, even though I had just gone running and looked a hot mess. I plopped on some deodorant, put back on my work clothes and headed over. One of his friends happened to show up and relayed some interesting information to me: this guy had just broken up with his girlfriend THAT VERY DAY. So, the whole time he was texting me, he had been dating someone. Yup. My feelings weren't hurt or anything, but I did think it was indicative of his character and it was a major turn-off. Needless to say, I'm not interested in him anymore.
Mr. Chip on His Shoulder
I think the name gives it away, but this guy was so bitter about everything! The World Series, his work schedule, his old job, his past loves - anything he could have a problem with, he did. He told me he broke up with his girlfriend, WHO MOVED TO TOWN FOR HIM because he just didn't like her anymore. I wasn't sure about this guy at all, but, again, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.
Until I heard something that would make me think, where have I gone wrong in this life? During a quick conversation one morning, he told me that he would maybe "add me to the list of people [he's] spoiling" that was "currently [a list] of two." I'm sorry? Were you trying to be cute here or did you actually just tell me that you have other women that you might be dating that you felt the need to inform me of? I don't care that you're dating around - I mean, I am too - but is it really necessary for you to tell me that information? No. And it kinda makes you look like a jerk.
The Kid
I hesitated even writing about this one, because I know he occasionally glances at this, but I'm not going to let his possible reading prevent me from telling you guys. Around my birthday I went on a few dates with this guy who's a little bit younger than me - hence the nickname "The Kid." He seemed super nice, was terribly cute and seemed pretty into everything I had going on (although, I can't blame him on that part!). The day after my birthday, he told me that he felt overwhelmed with our situation (mind you, we'd been on THREE dates) and that he couldn't see me anymore. Now, this bummed me out, but those were his feelings and I'm not going to try to talk someone into or out of anything. I just let it go and chalked it up to experience.
I moved on, but a few weeks ago he texted me and told me he had messed up. I didn't want to be a jerk, so I had lunch with him, skeptical, but I understood where he was coming from. He seemed to be more sure this time and the whole thing seemed romantic to me. We started talking and hanging out a little and I was enjoying myself! And what happened? He bailed on me again. He apologized and said he needed to get himself together. Okay. <-That was literally my response. I'm confused on this one. I'm not sure what happened, but I know it doesn't have to do with me. And if it does, then I really need to adjust my self-perception.
My Conclusions
1. I must need to learn something, otherwise why would I be meeting these people?
2. I am entirely too nice.
3. I need to have a better filtering system.
4. I should have my friends pick out my dates, because they have to be able to do better than me.
~j
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Return of the Meathead
You guys remember Meathead, right? Well, he never really left the scene - he just quieted down a little bit, but has recently given me some good blog fodder.
(In case you don't recall him or need a refresher, you can find about more about him here and here.)
Anyhow, I was on my way to a graduation party and saw something funny, so I posted about it on Facebook. (Natch.) Meaty saw it, thought it was REALLY funny and sent me a message. I kindly responded via text (because I'm not a jerk) and boy, did that unleash a problem. He started texting everyday and is the kind of texter that should you not respond to something he sent in a matter of seconds you get a "???" follow up.
I have to admit, I played along for a little while and texted him occasionally. I thought it was harmless and that I was dealing with a normal human being. It seems, however, that I might really might have hurt his feelings. Also, it appears that Meathead is a teensy bit cray.
For some reason, there was a day Meathead was convinced we were going to hang out. (I want to make it VERY clear that I never suggested or even hinted at wanting to get together at a particular time or place. He might have mentioned hanging out, to which I flippantly said "Oh, yeah, that might be fun to do sometime...," but I can't be sure.) After a short texting conversation, he assumed that I wanted to hang out the next day instead. (Once again, I never said that I was doing anything with him.) After not hearing from me, he sent a "scathing" text that was supposed to put me in my place. I was a jerk and only thought about myself! I made plans two days in a row with him and never showed you guys!
We were having a relationship and I didn't even know it!
That's when I stopped texting, for my own sanity. I went text AWOL. For a few days after I got a "hey" or "hi" from him, that turned into a "hiya" every couple of days, which eventually turned into no texting. My radio silence got the point across finally. Whew - dodged a bullet in the form of an awkward conversation.
Last week, I heard my phone ding. "Yay! A text!," I thought. "Oh, it's from Meathead." *le sigh*
The text read: "You know Im gonna block u cause u arent responding right?"
*facepalm*
But there was some relief there - as least I could let him do all the dirty work.
This weekend I was on the Facebook, stalking a few college friends and I see I have a message. From Meathead. (Wait!! I thought he was going to BLOCK ME!!!) His message read pretty much the same as the text, but he added "Good luck to you" or some variation of that.
I haven't heard from Meathead since then, but I HAVE learned my lesson. Never be nice to save someone's feelings - sometimes the harsh truth, as hard as it is to hear/say, is necessary. Being too kind can get you a boyfriend you didn't even want.
~j
(In case you don't recall him or need a refresher, you can find about more about him here and here.)
Anyhow, I was on my way to a graduation party and saw something funny, so I posted about it on Facebook. (Natch.) Meaty saw it, thought it was REALLY funny and sent me a message. I kindly responded via text (because I'm not a jerk) and boy, did that unleash a problem. He started texting everyday and is the kind of texter that should you not respond to something he sent in a matter of seconds you get a "???" follow up.
I have to admit, I played along for a little while and texted him occasionally. I thought it was harmless and that I was dealing with a normal human being. It seems, however, that I might really might have hurt his feelings. Also, it appears that Meathead is a teensy bit cray.
For some reason, there was a day Meathead was convinced we were going to hang out. (I want to make it VERY clear that I never suggested or even hinted at wanting to get together at a particular time or place. He might have mentioned hanging out, to which I flippantly said "Oh, yeah, that might be fun to do sometime...," but I can't be sure.) After a short texting conversation, he assumed that I wanted to hang out the next day instead. (Once again, I never said that I was doing anything with him.) After not hearing from me, he sent a "scathing" text that was supposed to put me in my place. I was a jerk and only thought about myself! I made plans two days in a row with him and never showed you guys!
We were having a relationship and I didn't even know it!
That's when I stopped texting, for my own sanity. I went text AWOL. For a few days after I got a "hey" or "hi" from him, that turned into a "hiya" every couple of days, which eventually turned into no texting. My radio silence got the point across finally. Whew - dodged a bullet in the form of an awkward conversation.
Last week, I heard my phone ding. "Yay! A text!," I thought. "Oh, it's from Meathead." *le sigh*
The text read: "You know Im gonna block u cause u arent responding right?"
*facepalm*
But there was some relief there - as least I could let him do all the dirty work.
This weekend I was on the Facebook, stalking a few college friends and I see I have a message. From Meathead. (Wait!! I thought he was going to BLOCK ME!!!) His message read pretty much the same as the text, but he added "Good luck to you" or some variation of that.
I haven't heard from Meathead since then, but I HAVE learned my lesson. Never be nice to save someone's feelings - sometimes the harsh truth, as hard as it is to hear/say, is necessary. Being too kind can get you a boyfriend you didn't even want.
~j
Friday, May 11, 2012
When Stalkers Text: An Actual Transcript
(Ed Note: This is a verbatim conversation between me and my stalker, McStalkerson. [He is not an actual stalker, obvs, he is simply an overzealous suitor. If he was a stalker, I would be hiding in my house with all the lights off texting one of you to come help me.] I've left all misspellings and grammar errors alone, so you can sincerely take the journey to Crazytown with me. )
[Scene opens on our heroine, folding her sheets.]
McStalkerson: Hey girl. what you doin'?
Me: Hiya. Nothing much. Laundry.
McStalkerson: Been thinkin' about ya
Me: Oh, yeah? That's interesting.
McStalkerson: Interesting??? lol been thinkin' 'bout how your doin'.
*A few minutes go by*
McStalkerson: so how are ya lol
Me: I'm pretty good, thanks.
*3 minutes elapse*
McStalkerson: that's it then? lol
Me: What's it?
McStalkerson: Your just pretty good?
Me: Yup. As good as it gets.
McStalkerson: ??? whats that? lol
McStalkerson: when are you free to talk
*10 minutes go by*
Me: Aren't we talking right now?
McStalkerson: lol such a smart alex. i mean, so we can talk talk
Me: Um, I think your version of talking and my version of talking are a liiiiittle different.
McStalkerson: lol i luv how funny you are.
McStalkerson: really think your great
McStalkerson: really want to see you soon
Me: ...
McStalkerson: srsly
McStalkerson: ???
McStalkerson: nothin' to say to that huh?
*1 day later*
McStalkerson: so really, when do i get to you see you??
[End scene]
[Scene opens on our heroine, folding her sheets.]
McStalkerson: Hey girl. what you doin'?
Me: Hiya. Nothing much. Laundry.
McStalkerson: Been thinkin' about ya
Me: Oh, yeah? That's interesting.
McStalkerson: Interesting??? lol been thinkin' 'bout how your doin'.
*A few minutes go by*
McStalkerson: so how are ya lol
Me: I'm pretty good, thanks.
*3 minutes elapse*
McStalkerson: that's it then? lol
Me: What's it?
McStalkerson: Your just pretty good?
Me: Yup. As good as it gets.
McStalkerson: ??? whats that? lol
McStalkerson: when are you free to talk
*10 minutes go by*
Me: Aren't we talking right now?
McStalkerson: lol such a smart alex. i mean, so we can talk talk
Me: Um, I think your version of talking and my version of talking are a liiiiittle different.
McStalkerson: lol i luv how funny you are.
McStalkerson: really think your great
McStalkerson: really want to see you soon
Me: ...
McStalkerson: srsly
McStalkerson: ???
McStalkerson: nothin' to say to that huh?
*1 day later*
McStalkerson: so really, when do i get to you see you??
[End scene]
Friday, May 4, 2012
Keep Your Clothes On: An Argument Against Dirty Texts
2012 is making everyone lose their minds. It could be that this has been brewing for a while and is just now an issue. Alternatively, I could blame the invention of the camera phone. Whatever it is, I'm taking this moment to declare that I, Jeana, do not want your sexts.
That's right gentlemen (and I use that term, very, very, very loosely), I do not want pictures for your half or fully naked bodies. I am not interested in seeing you in your birthday suit. I am not interested in viewing your six-pack. I do not want to know "what you're workin' wit." I am not going to tell you what I'm wearing. I am not going to discuss anything of a sexual nature with you. I don't know you. I probably wouldn't even tell you what I'm drinking (answer: Diet Pepsi. It's always Diet Pepsi.) or eating, much less show you any part of my body that is typically covered by my uniform of dress pants and a gently used cardigan.
But, seriously, what gives? Is this what we've regressed to? I want to have a conversation with you, get to know you. I want to know if you grew up here, if you have siblings or a pet, if you are as much of a music nerd as I am. I want to find out if we're compatible, not if you have a tattoo on or around your naughty bits.
The fact that these men I have a causal acquaintance with are sending very personal pictures is, at the very least, disconcerting. Moreover, there are women that engage in this very activity. I'm just going to assume that these guys were hoping I would return the favor. Someone please explain to me why anyone would think that I would gladly take a picture of all of this *hands waving all over myself* and send it to a person I've had very little interaction with. Please, tell me. I wouldn't, for that matter, send anything to anyone I knew well! It's just dumb. It's a bad policy. Women and girls who engage in this behavior need to be weary - it's not going to work out well.
And if you happen to send me a dirty text, you'll probably get this picture in return:
That's right gentlemen (and I use that term, very, very, very loosely), I do not want pictures for your half or fully naked bodies. I am not interested in seeing you in your birthday suit. I am not interested in viewing your six-pack. I do not want to know "what you're workin' wit." I am not going to tell you what I'm wearing. I am not going to discuss anything of a sexual nature with you. I don't know you. I probably wouldn't even tell you what I'm drinking (answer: Diet Pepsi. It's always Diet Pepsi.) or eating, much less show you any part of my body that is typically covered by my uniform of dress pants and a gently used cardigan.
But, seriously, what gives? Is this what we've regressed to? I want to have a conversation with you, get to know you. I want to know if you grew up here, if you have siblings or a pet, if you are as much of a music nerd as I am. I want to find out if we're compatible, not if you have a tattoo on or around your naughty bits.
The fact that these men I have a causal acquaintance with are sending very personal pictures is, at the very least, disconcerting. Moreover, there are women that engage in this very activity. I'm just going to assume that these guys were hoping I would return the favor. Someone please explain to me why anyone would think that I would gladly take a picture of all of this *hands waving all over myself* and send it to a person I've had very little interaction with. Please, tell me. I wouldn't, for that matter, send anything to anyone I knew well! It's just dumb. It's a bad policy. Women and girls who engage in this behavior need to be weary - it's not going to work out well.
And if you happen to send me a dirty text, you'll probably get this picture in return:
~J
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
You Make Me Promises, Promises
Way back in December a dude I know expressed an interest in dating me, even though I was still dating my boyfriend (henceforth known as E-Mail Man). At the time, I had absolutely no interest in this kid that extended beyond the way the fact I was in a relationship. This guy is a creeper to the nth degree - I've seen him in action and it is way disturbing. There is a fine line between being persistent and being a weirdo and homeboy took it waaaay over the line to Creepytown.
Anyway, McStalkerson started to ramp up his efforts in late January. Heavily. When I say heavily, I mean he would text me all day, call often and would just hang out places I frequent. He called and invited me to dinner at his parents house for his mother's birthday. He told me he bought me a Kindle for Valentine's Day. He told me that he wanted to take me on a trip to Costa Rica, because his family had a house there. Now, I made it clear that I didn't really want anything with him, but I thought the whole thing was funny. He was making all these promises to me about what we would do when I was free of E-Mail Man, about how he would "treat me right" and how much fun we would have together, blah, blah, blah.
About 2 weeks into the intense pursuing, it just stopped. Cold. No texts, no calls, no random run-ins at Mission Burrito, no nothing. I thought McStalkerson had finally caught on to the fact that I was a no-go. Then I got an email from him.
*Minor tangent* What is with men these days using e-mail to communicate their feelings? This seems to be a running theme with the guys in my life these days. Can't you just pick up the phone and call me? *End tangent*
The email stated that he had found somesucker woman who was nice, kind, pretty, smart (read: better than you, Jeana) and he was VERY happy with her. He just wanted me to know, so that I wouldn't have any bad feelings toward him because of what we had. (Um, what exactly did we have weirdo?) Also, he hoped maybe this would teach me a lesson about waiting too long to make a decision, because good men don't just wait around. Well, okay. Thanks for that lesson McStalkerson, duly noted.
About a week after E-Mail Man ended things, I happened to hear from McStalkerson. He wanted to know how I was doing and he just happened to have become single recently (*cut to me, looking unsurprised*). I told him I was single now too and he said he was really sorry to hear that, but that I would find someone! We could hang out without weirdness now! We could go to dinner! Get drinks! We could finally go to Costa Rica! Yay!
After hanging up, I haven't heard from McStalkerson, save the drunk texts I got from him on a random Tuesday night. He is the kind of guy who wants what he can't really have and when it's available, he doesn't want it! He feels about me the way I feel about Crystal Clear Pepsi.
And here I was packing my bags for Costa Rica...
Oh - and I've never seen that Kindle. I'm waiting, McStalkerson.
~j
Anyway, McStalkerson started to ramp up his efforts in late January. Heavily. When I say heavily, I mean he would text me all day, call often and would just hang out places I frequent. He called and invited me to dinner at his parents house for his mother's birthday. He told me he bought me a Kindle for Valentine's Day. He told me that he wanted to take me on a trip to Costa Rica, because his family had a house there. Now, I made it clear that I didn't really want anything with him, but I thought the whole thing was funny. He was making all these promises to me about what we would do when I was free of E-Mail Man, about how he would "treat me right" and how much fun we would have together, blah, blah, blah.
About 2 weeks into the intense pursuing, it just stopped. Cold. No texts, no calls, no random run-ins at Mission Burrito, no nothing. I thought McStalkerson had finally caught on to the fact that I was a no-go. Then I got an email from him.
*Minor tangent* What is with men these days using e-mail to communicate their feelings? This seems to be a running theme with the guys in my life these days. Can't you just pick up the phone and call me? *End tangent*
The email stated that he had found some
About a week after E-Mail Man ended things, I happened to hear from McStalkerson. He wanted to know how I was doing and he just happened to have become single recently (*cut to me, looking unsurprised*). I told him I was single now too and he said he was really sorry to hear that, but that I would find someone! We could hang out without weirdness now! We could go to dinner! Get drinks! We could finally go to Costa Rica! Yay!
After hanging up, I haven't heard from McStalkerson, save the drunk texts I got from him on a random Tuesday night. He is the kind of guy who wants what he can't really have and when it's available, he doesn't want it! He feels about me the way I feel about Crystal Clear Pepsi.
And here I was packing my bags for Costa Rica...
Oh - and I've never seen that Kindle. I'm waiting, McStalkerson.
~j
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