Ways I Fail at Dates: Vol. 2

Well, I have somehow tricked someone into asking me on a date.  I'm exceptionally nervous because this guy is a little older and pretty much has his life together, while I'm still trying to figure everything out.  I wrote a while ago about the ways I fail at dates and we all know how I like to over think everything, so I extended the list.  Here is the addendum:

Intensity
There are certain things that I get really intense about when I discuss them.  And sometimes those things are kind of unimportant.  And sometimes that comes off as being a little bit crazy.  I mean, just a little bit, not like boil your kid's rabbit crazy, but like, "Whoa, if she's this amped up just talking about this movie, I wonder what she'll be like about something that actually matters."  You either really like that (chances: 1 in 10,000) or you don't (chances: everyone else).  There is a fine line between being passionate and being fanatical.

Over-Sensitivity
We all know that I am just a wee bit sensitive.  Sometimes someone can say something completely unrelated to me and I take it personally.  This means bad news when it comes to dating.  For instance, if someone makes a comment about my completely ridiculous loud laugh, I worry that it's annoying, try not to laugh for the rest of the night, then all my dates substandard jokes (in comparison to mine, of course) fall flat, then no one is having fun anymore, then my date goes home thinking, "What just happened?" and then I'm still alone.  (Sidenote: That was the greatest run-on sentence I've ever written.  Let's take a moment of reflection for it.)  This oversensitivity is often complimented by my:

Self-Consciousness
I'm a pretty confident person about many things, but, like most girls, I do worry that I don't measure up physically.  This issue is exacerbated by a first date. 

Here is an excerpt from my brain during a date:  What does my hair look like?  Am I talking to much about my love for Diet Pepsi and/or Downton Abbey and/or ballet flats and/or cardigans?  Is the pimple that somehow grew out of my chin overnight still covered by the entire stick of concealer I used?  Oh, oh, oh - is he looking at the pimple now? I can't talk, cause if I do my chin will move and then the pimple will be more obvious.  What did he just ask?  Maybe I'll just take another bite of this food and buy some time.  And, of course the food would fall down my shirt.  Of course.  

And that, my friends, is only the beginning.

Maybe what I'll focus on is the fact that I was so naturally charming that this guy asked me out.  ON PURPOSE.  I'm not sure you're taking the journey with me, so let me repeat - I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING BUT BE MY DELIGHTFUL SELF and he asked me out.  He's clearly a genius and has incredible taste.  He likes me already, I don't have to go in and try to win him over.  The battle is already won - now I just have to translate that in a one-on-one atmosphere. 

Now, if you'll excuse me I have to cover up a pimple and find a paper bag to breathe in.

~j

Ways I Fail At Dates: Vol. 1

I am going on an actual date tonight, with a real, live boy.  Since this is the first one I've had in a while, I starting thinking about the ways I could possibly mess it up (natch).  I'm usually a big advocate of positive self-talk, but since I'm dusting off the old dating chops, I went into crisis mode.  What do I wear?  What if I'm wearing too much make-up/perfume/hairspray?  What if I'm not wearing enough make-up/perfume/hairspray? And so on.

I made a list of the possible (read: probable) ways I could fail at this date.  My hope is by identifying them, I can avoid them or something like that.

Being Annoying:
Sometimes I pay more attention to my phone than other people.  Sometimes I am a jerk.  Sometimes I crunch ice.  Sometimes I laugh too loud, at things that weren't that funny.  Sometimes (okay, okay, all the time) I talk too loudly.

Conversation Issues:
Sometimes I use too many words. Sometimes I don't use enough words.  Sometimes the words I use are too much like an SAT prep class.  Sometimes I trail off in the middle of a thought.

Eating Habits:
Sometimes I eat like someone is going to steal the plate from me.  Sometimes I drop food all over myself.  Sometimes I burp so loudly, people in the next county ask what that noise was.

Nerd Tendencies:
Sometimes I talk about library issues that no one but librarians care about.  Sometimes I go in depth about some random movie trivia.  Sometimes I bring up the fact I was a hopeless dresser in junior high and high school.  Sometimes I discuss my love of first-person shooters.  Sometimes I am Andrea Zuckerman.

Hipster-Related Snobbishness:
Sometimes I scoff at people's musical preferences.  (One thing: I'm saying RIGHT NOW that Nickleback is excluded from this section, because NO ONE should like Nickleback and liking/listening to them is a total and complete dealbreaker.)  Sometimes I think something that someone is watching is too mainstream.  Sometimes I talk too much about Tom's/organic food/indie band/arthouse movies.

Whew.  I'm sure there are more than this, since I'm inept at dating and all.  Let's all hope I can avoid these and come out of this date unscathed.

~j