Ways I Fail At Dates: Vol. 1

I am going on an actual date tonight, with a real, live boy.  Since this is the first one I've had in a while, I starting thinking about the ways I could possibly mess it up (natch).  I'm usually a big advocate of positive self-talk, but since I'm dusting off the old dating chops, I went into crisis mode.  What do I wear?  What if I'm wearing too much make-up/perfume/hairspray?  What if I'm not wearing enough make-up/perfume/hairspray? And so on.

I made a list of the possible (read: probable) ways I could fail at this date.  My hope is by identifying them, I can avoid them or something like that.

Being Annoying:
Sometimes I pay more attention to my phone than other people.  Sometimes I am a jerk.  Sometimes I crunch ice.  Sometimes I laugh too loud, at things that weren't that funny.  Sometimes (okay, okay, all the time) I talk too loudly.

Conversation Issues:
Sometimes I use too many words. Sometimes I don't use enough words.  Sometimes the words I use are too much like an SAT prep class.  Sometimes I trail off in the middle of a thought.

Eating Habits:
Sometimes I eat like someone is going to steal the plate from me.  Sometimes I drop food all over myself.  Sometimes I burp so loudly, people in the next county ask what that noise was.

Nerd Tendencies:
Sometimes I talk about library issues that no one but librarians care about.  Sometimes I go in depth about some random movie trivia.  Sometimes I bring up the fact I was a hopeless dresser in junior high and high school.  Sometimes I discuss my love of first-person shooters.  Sometimes I am Andrea Zuckerman.

Hipster-Related Snobbishness:
Sometimes I scoff at people's musical preferences.  (One thing: I'm saying RIGHT NOW that Nickleback is excluded from this section, because NO ONE should like Nickleback and liking/listening to them is a total and complete dealbreaker.)  Sometimes I think something that someone is watching is too mainstream.  Sometimes I talk too much about Tom's/organic food/indie band/arthouse movies.

Whew.  I'm sure there are more than this, since I'm inept at dating and all.  Let's all hope I can avoid these and come out of this date unscathed.

~j