You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Blog is About You (But This Time It Is)

Some guys are pushy.  I am not a big fan of pushy people, but I really can't stand guys who are overly forceful.  I'm totally okay with someone being a little, teensy bit forward and showing their interest, that's completely understandable.  I don't, however, enjoy when a guy gets insistent about being affectionate, becomes forceful about moving quickly or gets sensitive when I say something innocuous.  I had a recent experience with someone like this - we'll call him Tweetenstein.

Basically, everything started out decently.  We chatted a little through emails one day and when he asked for my number the same day, I didn't think twice about it.  I thought he was just interested (and let's be honest, who wouldn't be?) and went for it.  I was actually kind of impressed.  I'm so chicken about being the one doing the chasing anyway and he was doing all the work.  Cut to late that night; I'm in bed, ready to head off to dream land and he tries to Facetime with me.  I decline, saying I'm all set to go to sleep and a few minutes later he tries again.  Persistent, I thought, not a terrible quality. 

The next day, Tweetenstein was blowing up my phone with texts, followed me on Twitter and asked me to hang out that night.  I couldn't because I was going to a baseball game*, but I wasn't sure if I really wanted to anyway.  He was getting a little defensive when I said certain things and didn't really get my kidding nature.  I'd been there before, with someone who doesn't get my goofy side, and wasn't really looking to go back.  I agreed to go to lunch the next day.  A lunch that he showed up late for and left 20 minutes into because he had somewhere to go.  I decided not to hold that against him, but then the weirdness started.

He started to ask me if I didn't feel a spark at lunch.  He told me I wasn't being authentic because I didn't want to talk about intimate things.  He kept asking if I was interested.  Whoa.  This was too much.  I literally just met you and here you are, trying to act like I need to make a decision about you RIGHT NOW.  Slow down bro, we'll get there.  I told him to pump the brakes, that I felt pushed and didn't really hear from him after that, which I was totally okay with. 

Then I wrote a blog piece that was clearly not "about" anyone and yet he asked if it was about him.  What?  Uh, nah.  I don't know you, not really anyway.  A few days later, he commented on how cute one of my friends was (Sidenote: She is freaking adorable, but come on guy, really?) and I was gobsmacked.  Where was this kid's brain?

I've heard stories about girls who try to push guys into relationships and it rarely works.  In the beginning each person is getting to know the other and there shouldn't be a time limit on that.  I never really knew this guy and he was trying to get me to "be myself."  Dude, this is me.  I take my time.  No one is ever comfortable right away, you build to that. 

The great thing about this, though, is that I stood up for myself.  I was honest and told him I needed him to back up.  Yay on that.

~j

*Someone seriously needs to invite me to a baseball game.  I love baseball.  I'm a fun time.  Someone I know has free tickets.  At the very least, agree to go with me on a Tuesday.