My, How Times Have Changed

I just want to preface this entry by saying that I do, in fact, think and do other things besides date.  I promise!  I may write about dating (and nothing but), but I assure you, I don't just troll the Internet and scour the streets for dates wearing an 'I'm available' sandwich board...although that WOULD make for a good blog, wouldn't it?

Since I'm waist deep in this whole dating life, I found a shift in the men that are available for dating at this point.  Plainly, the most decent guys I come in contact with are A LOT older than I am.  Most of them have been married before and many of them have kids.  This is a hard mental adjustment.  I want to say, emphatically, I have absolutely no issue with any of the things I listed above, but when I sat down and actually thought about it, it's so different for me.

I mean, I'm meeting guys in the LATE 30's.  That's almost 40 guys.  I just had to make the transition to being 30 and now I'm thrust into this whole world of people who are 40?  They're established.  They have steady priorities.  They're more laid back.  They aren't going to like when I take a dare to get up on a table in the middle of a crowded place and sing a song.  (Notice how I'm avoiding saying: THEY'RE OLD.)  I'm not sure they'll get me.  I'm afraid I'm not grown up enough for them.

On the other side of the coin are guys who are in their mid-20's and somehow find me awesome.  I think this has a lot to do with my level of confidence, lack of shame/embarrassment and not caring one bit about what people think of me.  Girls (okay, MOST girls) their age are totally concerned with the wrong thing.  I'm different for them.  At the same time, they haven't gone through anything, they're just starting out.  I'm ready to move forward and they're just figure out what forward means for them.  We're not in the same place either.

So, I'm stuck.

The last time I was really dating I was in my mid-20's - everyone out there was kinda my age.  It was simple to find someone who was in your place in life, who wasn't jaded, who was willing to take a chance.  Now, not so may years later, everyone has a backstory, is far more cautious and is sometimes skeptical of love.  It's almost like a reversal; if you're still dating or you're having to get thrown back into the dating pool by the time you're in your 30's, you have dealt with a lot of stuff that makes you lose your appreciation for meeting new people.  It becomes a chore, more so than something fun.  You don't really want to spend time going on another bad date. 

The question is: where do I go? Up or down?  I think the answer is, I'll know it by the person, not by their age.  You can be young and jaded.  You can be old and hopeful.  It's dependent on the person, not their circumstances.  Awesomeness knows no age limit, so neither should I.

~j