Well, I've successfully gotten someone else to ask me out. I know! It's crazy, right? I'm not exactly sure how I'm doing it, although I'm fairly sure it has to do with my clear awesomeness and extra humility. Either that or he's feeling lonely and doesn't want to spend another Friday night alone, eating Ben and Jerry's and listening to the new Taylor Swift album on repeat.
In these pre-date moments, I usually pull back the curtain and show you guys my neurotic brain processes. (I wrote about other ways I fail at dates here and here, in case you missed them!) Don't worry, I'm going to do that today, but I also want to assure you kids that I'm going into the date like I go into life: with my head down and attempting to not make any sudden movements. (Kidding! I'll be delightful, smiley and semi self-effacing, like usual.)
I don't know how this one is going to go - I've been talking to this guy on and off for a few weeks and this is the first time that our schedules have aligned. Maybe all this waiting let us get to know either other better - to be honest, I'm not nervous in the least. This either makes me jaded or just confident in the fact that he knows me and is still interested after all this time. We'll see how it goes! (And by that, I mean I'll write about it on Monday. You're welcome in advance.)
Now, on to the important stuff - here's a few more ways I fail at dates:
Attempted Seriousness
We all know I'm not a serious kind of person. I mean, I know HOW to be serious and the importance of a true heart to heart conversation, but it just isn't my sweet spot. (Yes, I have made a mental note to work on that, thankyouverymuch.) I love to make people laugh and enjoy time spent with people where we talk about light-hearted things. When the conversation moves out of these bounds, especially on the first few dates, I fall apart.
Like, how serious is this conversation going to get? How much should I reveal? I don't want to put all my business on the table, but I also want to give enough so it feels like I'm sharing. I've never been good at gauging that kind of stuff on dates. I think it's the first or second date jitters combined with my inability to understand men.
And I tend to get competitive in serious stories. Things like: "Oh, you broke your wrist in college? Well, I had to have emergency surgery and my parents had to drive 7 hours to get to the hospital." and "Oh, you had trouble in school? Well, I didn't. At all. In fact, I had a 4.0 in grad school." How frightfully unattractive. I'm going to try not to do that today.
Dorkiness
I'm not a supreme dork. I haven't seen all the Star Wars movies, I don't watch Doctor Who (I just don't get it!), I'm not sure what a Battlestar Galatica or a Cosplay is and I don't read graphic novels. I do, however, speak in weird accents, get geeked out over certain TV shows, have a clumsy streak and snort when I laugh. I'm kinda a dork...just a liiiiiitttllllee bit. I know that you should be authentic during dates, but maybe I shouldn't reveal that I wikipedia every 'The Walking Dead' character, just yet.
Over-Agreeableness
I just took a personality profile that told me that my highest trait was being "agreeable." Not to prove it's point, but I'm agreeable to that assessment. I tend to go with the flow. Some people might see this as being indecisive, but I view it as the ability to have a good time, no matter what I'm doing. (And I'm crap at making decisions.)
Usually, this is a good thing, but occasionally, it gets me into trouble. I agree to second dates where we're shooting giant guns or I say something dumb like, "Oh, sure! Bungee jumping sounds SO fun! And so does diving with sharks! And so does all the ridiculously awful things you're suggesting we do sometime because they are 'adventurous'!" BUNGEE JUMPING DOES NOT SOUND LIKE FUN. I don't want my body attached to a glorified rubber band and then hurdle myself off of a perfectly good bridge in hopes that it snaps me back from the brink of death. This is being TOO agreeable. I need to learn to give myself boundaries. I need to learn how to shut up!
And for future reference, I'm not a thrill-seeker. I am a mug of hot chocolate, blanket and comfy couch seeker. I am a local band concert, followed by a hamburger seeker. I am a funny movie and slice of pizza seeker - just to clear that up.
~j
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