Monday, May 7, 2012

Who Am I Anyway?

I turned in my final school assignment yesterday, for my last class.  Ever.  For 25 years, I have been in school.  That's been my identity - a student.  And now, with the submission of that final final, I'm done.  That's it.  The chapter that's encompassed a bulk of my life and the entirety of my adult life is over.  I'm feeling a little sentimental about school now, of course, but I'm certainly thrilled to be done. I won't have to stay home to work on a paper or stay up late to prep a thesis, all my time is for me! For things I want to do! But what, exactly, do I want to do? I have no idea. Outside of school, I don't do much else besides eat (awesomely), sing (semi-okay) and run (badly). Maybe I'll audition for The Voice and make Adam Lavine fall in love with me...

So, if I'm no longer a student, then who am I?

I know I'm being a little existential here, but it lead me down a train of thought that I couldn't stop.  I mean, should you even be defined by what you do or what your hobbies are anyway?  Probably not, but in this period of transition I'm suffocating myself with introspection.  It's not pretty.  

What does this mean for my dating life (or lack thereof)?  I've heard on numerous occasions that you need to know yourself before you start to date anyone, but I'm left to wonder if that's true.  What's wrong with figuring yourself out while your dating?  I'm not going to change intrinsically; as Popeye says, I am who I am, but what if I figure out that I love to square dance?  Or to competitively bass fish?  Couldn't the person I'm dating grow to understand my new love of knitting or canning vegetables?

I would think that if someone can tolerate enjoys my robust personality, loud laugh, long, winding (and nearly unending) stories, occasional flatulence, love of tacos, addiction to Diet Pepsi and propensity to cry, they could handle me suddenly wanting to become an expert scrapbooker or fluent in Flemish.  I'm just going to count on that and start to figure out who this Jeana the Graduate person is.  (Spoiler alert: She's going to be more awesome...if it's possible.) 

2 comments:

  1. you shall become legendary!

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  2. I think you have a point...there's nothing wrong with not knowing exactly who you are when you're dating. You'll never be able to thoroughly know yourself anyway because we are ever-evolving, growing beings. We all have different dimensions, but they don't come out unless you live and experience things.

    And Jeana the Graduate will certainly be awesome.

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