The Maybe Date

Of the many mysteries men keep, the Maybe Date is one of the greatest sources of confusion to single women.  A man asked you to "hang out" or wanted to know if you would go to a movie with about 40 of his closest friends or invited to come see him play at some venue or asked you to come to a friends' party with him, but never really distinguished if what you were doing was, in fact, a "date."  Where does this ambiguity come from?  Fear of rejection?  Lack of awareness?  Assumption that I know what you mean?  Determination to make me suffer as much as possible?

I am going on the dreaded Maybe Date tonight.  I have no idea if what we are doing is simply hanging out (which I'm okay with) or hanging out (which I'm also okay with).  Do I worry about what I look like or do I just wear a shirt, jeans and Chucks to make it appear I'm not trying too hard?  What if, in his mind, this is our first date and I show up super causal like I don't care?  A great first impression I'll give, I'm sure.  On the other hand, what if I make myself look presentable and he's dressed down?  I end up  one of those girls on a sitcom that doesn't get that she's not on a date, and boy, doesn't she look silly and boy, don't you just feel sorry for her.

This whole thing is giving me heartburn.  Dating is hard.

I just want some clarification.  Please guys, for all that is good and holy in this world, don't use the phrase "hang out."  I used to be ambivalent to that term, but all of my soul groans when I hear it.  "WHAT DO YOU MEAN???" says my brain.  If you're actually asking me out (I know, I know - longshot!), why don't you just let me know that you are interested in taking me out, one on one.  Otherwise, say something like, "Hey friend, you're fun.  Come to meet my other fun friends and we'll all be fun and friendly together."  I need specificity.

Is it really that hard? *le sigh*

Of course, I could just ask him, but where's the fun in that?

~J